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Divorce Advice: Don't Be A Cow

Most people don't know that I spent a fair part of my childhood on a working farm. One of my favorite memories is of riding out into pasture on an early summer evening with my uncle to round up the dairy cows for milking. The rocking tractor, the fragrant scent of grass and dirt and the setting sun made these trips a treat for the senses.

My uncle had a large herd, over 50 Holsteins to be milked twice a day. Every cow was named and had its assigned stall in the barn. The milking bay is divided in half with a central aisle and stalls running along each wall in long rows. Every stall is absolutely identical. Now anyone who has spent a little time with cows knows that some are not very bright. That is why I was amazed that every night every cow would return to the barnyard, walk up the ramp into the barn and then saunter real slow down the center aisle to its own stall, step over the gutter and start munching oats.  Perhaps this scene gave rise to the expression "Follow the Herd. " 

Now that I'm all grown up, I still see many of the herd around me following the same lead. Don't you have your own place at the kitchen table?  Sit in the same section of seats at religious services? At your conference table at work? Do you have a favorite everyday parking spot at work? Don't you always drive the same roads to and from work? To your parents?  To school?

When my kids were small, sometimes I would make a right out of our driveway instead of my normal constant left to head out of the development. This would set them off like crazy! A barrage of questions regarding my change in direction would follow, such as "Where are you going?" "Why did you turn this way? Is something the matter?"  I would answer them that I was trying a change of pace and they would roll their eyes at me. Try doing that to your kids or spouse and see how they react? It's kind of funny.

For 2014, I am going to personally make a conscious effort not to be a cow. I am going to change my seat, take a new way to my favorite haunts and maybe even try listening to country music.

Professionally, I am going to continue to advocate Collaborative Divorce Practice to every family facing a divorce. This private, patient and new method of getting divorced is a real break from the traditional sordid litigated nightmare of a divorce. I hope anyone contemplating this major life change to not follow the herd to the courthouse, but seek out Collaborative professionals to guide and support your family through the transition.

Finally, I can't forget - Happy Holidays and Happy New Year, everyone!

About Joanne Nadell, Esquire

As a New Jersey divorce attorney who specialize in Mediation and Collaborative law, my goal is to assist you in taking control of your divorce and family matters by resolving your personal and financial disputes.

The best method for resolving these family disputes is to use self-determination, your own mind and goals to set the future for yourself, your soon-to-be-ex-spouse and your children. After twenty years of divorce and family litigation, I have had enough of litigation.

Mediation and Collaborative Law are truly the keys to resolving conflict and working out divorce and family issues without the delays and bureaucratic paperwork and deadlines associated with standard divorce litigation. 

Families that want to save months of time, thousands of dollars and have a solution that both people agree with are just plain smart.

For more information, please feel free to give me a call at (732) 741-7776 or visit my website at http://www.atlanticdivorcemediation.com

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